Some of our favorite Rex Quotes
"I'm sick of you being so damn perfect all the time.
I'm sick of the bizarre way your hair doesn't move.
I'm sick of you making our bed in the morning before
I've even used the bathroom."
"Where's the woman I fell in love with? She used to
burn the toast. Drink milk out of the carton. And
laugh. I need her, not this cold, perfect thing
you've become."
"This is what you got to know about Bree. She doesn't
like to talk about her feelings. To be honest is hard
to know if she has any"
"She is always pleasant. I can't tell you how annoying
that is"
"You're not saying antyhing. That's because I've been
a great husband and it kills you to admit that"
"You're in the NRA. You own four guns. If anyone were
to break in, I'd expect you to protect me."
"Honey, I know it's hard to hear, but the marriage counseling
might not work out. You need to get used to being alone."
"My problem with our sex life is that you can’t stop thinking
about the house work."
Rex: "Bree. I've got a lawyer. A good one. You'll be served
with papers later today."
Bree: "Well I hope he's good because when I get through with you,
you won't have a cent to your name."
Rex: "Bring it on!"
"Well yeah, it’s like you’re thinking about other things. Is your
hair getting messed up? Did you remember to buy the toothpaste?
You’re just not there."
"Everyone, Bree and I are in marriage counseling. Everyone knows
your secret now. Did, did the sky fall? Has your life come crashing down?"
"He hung out in your womb for a few months back in the 80s. Since
then, I have grown to love him just as much as you!"
"No, you always made decisions, and tell me I agreed. Eighteen years
of smiling and taking it. What, what a liar I was! Thank God you're
out of my life!"
"You know what? If you were my mom, I'd smoke pot too!"
"Bree he's a teenage boy, we could take away his penis from
him and he'd still try to have sex!"
"You know, I can't decide which is more humiliating. The fact
that my son got caught with pot in his locker, or that he can't
even come up with a decent enough lie to explain it!"
"Love or passion? It’s an awful choice to make."
"Oh come on, Bree, look at this. You're using the good china,
freshly pressed napkins, flowers from the garden. This tray was
prepared with loving care."
"It's, it's nothing. You see, I, uh, recently engaged in some
extracurricular activity, and now Bree's doing anything she can
to make me suffer. All you can do is laugh."
"Please, you're dating my wife! Call me Rex!"
"I'm talking to my wife. Surrounded by lawyers, dividing up our
stuff? I don‘t want this. I thought I did, but I don‘t. Maybe we
should talk this over before it‘s too late. What do you say, Bree?
Should we send the vultures home?"
"I mean, fine. When I move out, I’m going to use your good china
for take out food. Yeah. Pizza, spare ribs..."
"Exactly. A very beautiful, classy lady. Remember, they tend to
end up with doctors, not pharmacists."
"The next time you touch your mother like that, I’m gonna throw
you through this wall! You understand me?"
"Nope. I'm gonna need every drop."
"So can you at least wait till dessert before calling our son
a sodomite?"
"Not good, and my cardiologist is an idiot."
"A whole evening of bonsai trees? Wouldn't it just be easier
to shoot me?"
"You know what I hate? Weeds. They just pop up out of nowhere,
and you have to work so hard to get rid of them."
"To be fair, I only pushed him."
"What I remember is sweating like a pig and wishing we hadn’t
spend all our savings. So, where would you like to go?"
Do you have a favorite quote? Email it to us: desperate4rex@yahoo.com